Do The Scary Thing
10 honest lessons from making movies, raising a kid, and climbing the hard hills
It was Father’s Day this past weekend, so I used the day as an excuse to force my son to do all my favorite activities with me: Mexican food, bookstores, and movies!
We saw Mike Flanagan’s Stephen King adaptation, The Life of Chuck. It’s the kind of movie that’s best experienced going in blind (so I won’t recap the story here), but I found it to be a deeply moving theatrical experience. It’s simple and beautiful and unlike anything I’ve seen. It’s a movie about life, meaning, the importance of the people in our lives, and choosing to do the scary things. Highly recommended.
But it also got me thinking about “the scary things” in my own life. Every truly meaningful moment in my life (the filmmaking journey and becoming a dad are two that immediately come to mind) has come only after first facing (and leaping over) a very scary thing.
The Harder the Climb, the Better the View
We just finished up the West Coast leg of our Guacamole Yesterdays theatrical tour, where we had incredible screenings in Tucson, Phoenix, Santa Ana, and L.A. While we were out there, we decided to hike up a mountain in order to get a better view of the Hollywood sign. Accomplished hiker Jordan (Noel, our director) found us a beautiful (but somewhat treacherous) path to climb. Jordan shot right up the mountainside, but Katelyn (Campbell, our theatrical booker and merch pro) and I are a little more… out of shape.
The climb was difficult, we slipped, we tumbled, we took breaks to catch our breath, we got covered in dirt, but (eventually) we made it to the top (albeit short of our Hollywood-sign view as we were quickly losing sunlight and the park was about to close). It ended up being my favorite memory from the trip, enjoying the 360-degree view of Los Angeles with two of my best pals.
It was also a nice metaphor for the filmmaking journey. Every step of which, from our first short film to the release of our feature films, was filled with fear, facing an uphill battle the whole way, and left us “covered in dirt,” but the view at the end of each was breathtaking.
Making Your 4,000 Weeks Count
Ironically, one of the books I flipped through at the bookstore stop with my son was called 4,000 Weeks by Oliver Burkeman. The premise is that the average lifespan is made up of just 4,000 weeks, and in it, he shares “tools for constructing a meaningful life by embracing finitude.” A great reminder that life is short and we’ve only got so much time to make it count.
Maybe you’re facing your own “scary thing,” whether that be a creative endeavor, embracing a new hobby, or stepping out into a big life change. Maybe you’re overwhelmed by the lack of time to accomplish the things you really want in life. Maybe you’re frozen by the pressure of making your 4,000 weeks count.
But the scarier it is, the more likely it’s something worth doing.
10 Tips to Help You Do the “Scary Thing”
There’s so much out there that keeps us from doing the scary thing: feeling like we have too far to go, too little to offer, or like we’ve already missed our chance. I still feel like this pretty much on a daily basis. But over the years (with a lot of mistakes along the way), I’ve found a few things that help me keep taking the next step. These are the tips I come back to whenever I need a push to stop wallowing and start moving… especially when it’s hard.
Start from where you are.
Comparison can be a real a-hole. When I look at other filmmakers, even today, I often start down the rabbit hole, “I have so far to go, I have so little to start with, I’m too old, too talentless, too under-resourced.” Maybe you’re overwhelmed at the gap between where you are now and where you want to be. But, I believe the universe doesn’t tap us on the shoulder until we’re ready. If you feel that pull inside of you, it means it’s time. You are perfectly capable for the journey where you are, right now. You don’t need to become someone else. Just start.
Choose one mountain to climb.
We all have a lot of passions. We all have many things we want to accomplish. It might feel too limiting to choose just one. But scary things also require focus. If I tried to hike up that mountain while also riding a unicycle and juggling, I’d likely be at the bottom of a ravine right now. Focus on one scary thing at a time. You may find that the first scary thing you dive into isn’t for you, and you can then move on to the next, but start with one and give it the attention it deserves.
Start fast. Fix later.
When I sit down to write a new screenplay, I try to knock out a first draft in 2-6 weeks. That first draft is always terrible, basically unreadable. But then I start the (much longer) editing process. I find that finishing quickly really builds momentum and creates a positive vibe around the project. It’s something that exists on paper (or a screen), not just in my mind. If you’re ready to jump into your scary thing, try to start as fast as possible. Rip the band-aid off. Don’t give it time to linger or die.
Learn to say “no.”
In order to say “yes” to your scary thing, you’re going to have to say “no” to something else. Some of those “something else’s” are going to be hard to turn down. Maybe you want to travel, maybe you want to build out your Blu-ray collection, maybe you have people in your life who won’t get as much of your attention as they desire. Sometimes you have to take a long, hard look at your priorities and then actually prioritize them.
Take care of business.
I spent most of my 20s struggling financially. I thought for sure I’d make it as a screenwriter, so I did freelance design work that would sometimes be busy and sometimes be extraordinarily slow. This meant taking on a little debt here or skipping a tax payment there, and eventually, in my 30s, when I still hadn’t yet made it, all this stuff started to add up into a lot of regrets. I was also a single dad in my 20s, which meant pressing pause on the writing goal in order to spend more time raising my son. When a responsibility is calling for you, make sure you take care of it first. The scary thing will still be waiting for you when you return.
Schedule your distractions.
We all know social media is a giant time-suck. It’s so appealing because it’s so easy! It’s a nice dopamine hit, it only takes a few minutes, and you can do it anywhere! But, because it’s easy, it’s also not going to leave you fulfilled long-term. One thing I’ve learned to do is to set time aside to do dumb stuff. If I know I have a dedicated time to catch up on Instagram (usually before bed), I won’t be tempted to check it a million times in a day. I can stay focused on my most important tasks (the scary things!) throughout the day and use social media as a reward.
Ignore the haters.
You will have people in your life who think your scary thing is dumb. Those voices can creep into your head and kill your dreams if you let them. You will start to second-guess your goals, think they are too lofty, be embarrassed about sharing them, and you’ll lose all momentum. The only opinion that matters is yours. Listen to your heart (brain, soul, colon, etc.). If you love the thing, do the thing. They’re your 4,000 weeks, after all!
Find your people.
If you don’t have the right support, the scary thing will defeat you every time. Don’t go it alone. Find the people in your life who support you. Share the load of your scary thing with them. Find others who share your dream and are willing to talk about the ups and downs of the journey. You’ll need the advice and encouragement along the way. I’m very lucky to have Jordan and Katelyn (and dozens of other fellow filmmakers) on this filmmaking journey to help carry the weight.
Trust the timing.
You can control the destination, but you can’t always control how long it will take to get there. We thought we’d make it to the Hollywood sign before the sun went down, but we didn’t have the experience to properly estimate. It will always take longer than you think. Be patient with yourself. I thought I’d be a professional writer by the time I turned 30, and while I’ve had bits and pieces of a “professional” writer life along the way, I’m still not there yet. But, that shouldn’t be discouraging because…
Fall in love with the climb.
The journey may be difficult, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t love it. In fact, if you’re only doing the scary thing for the eventual outcome, you are going to be sorely disappointed. Just like our hiking trip, we didn’t make it as far as we hoped, but the laughter, conversations, and adventure we had on the way will last a lifetime. The real magic of filmmaking for me isn’t in the release, it’s in the making.
Time to Take the First Step
Whatever your scary thing is, I hope this helps you find the encouragement to run towards it full speed. It will be hard, but the best things in life are.
I promise the view at the top will be worth it.
Make your 4,000 weeks count.
Our latest film, Guacamole Yesterdays, is one of the scariest, hardest, and most beautiful things I’ve ever made.
If you’d like to support it (and see the view from this particular mountain), the film is NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER ON APPLE TV and will be available to rent or purchase starting June 24 on Apple, Amazon, and Google TV.
Every pre-order will include a digital download of the Guacamole Yesterdays screenplay book (including behind-the-scenes interviews, storyboards, and original art). Visit mirrorboxfilms.com/pre-order to submit your receipt!
🥑 Guacamole Yesterdays is a sci-fi romance that follows a heartbroken woman who, after a painful separation, turns to cutting-edge technology that lets her relive and reshape her memories in a quest for healing.
Starring Randy Havens (Stranger Things), Sophie Edwards (This World Alone), and Adetinpo Thomas (Hawkeye).
💬 "I psychotically loved the movie. It’s one of those movies that I want everyone I love to see. Really sticks with you in a profoundly personal way."
–Mary Beth, audience member
Right on target. As always. Thanks!
Thanks for this Hudson. I believe and am putting into practice everything you've written. It's reassuring to hear someone else share these truths. I'm 62 and am absolutely thrilled to be making my first documentary!